Building a wall so no one could bother me
Living my life in isolation
Opening up to only those close to me
…Nobody's close to me, what have I done?
See, I really just want to be known
But I'm not quite as strong as the fear
That you won't understand the fool that I am
And that's how I ended up here
That's how I ended up here
Jason Gray, How I Ended Up Here
Living your life in isolation is a wonderful thing…in some ways.
· You never have to mess with anybody - nincompoops, bores, and fools.
· Your time is your own…free and easy – no commitments.
· You never have to explain yourself.
But living in isolation is costly…
· no one knows you
· no one loves you as you should be loved
· no one is there to walk with you through the pain
· no one is there to celebrate your successes and joys
· no one is around to push you toward your destiny
Isolation may sound good but …boy is it costly.
An isolated person…a person outside of community…is like a boat without a harbor. Harbors are important to boats.
Ø Boats come into be replenished: refueled, re-outfitted and re-stocked.
Ø Boats come in to be repaired from damage and disaster.
Ø Boats are then re-launched out to do what boats do:
· cargo ships to carry their precious cargo
· warships to defend their country
· fishing vessels to feed the world
· pleasure craft to bring joy to their owners
Boats need harbors. People need harbors. (small communities of people who love you, know you and serve you)
· Small community that will replenish your heart, soul and mind
· Small community that will help repair your brokenness …carry you to Jesus when you’re too sick and hurting to go yourself.
· Small community that believes in you and your destiny … and will re-launch you into the world and the mission of God
People need harbors…and we’ve never needed them more than we do right now.
To extend the analogy…we’re sailing these days on stormy seas.
· Experts say central Indiana is a wonderful place to live…schools, shopping, parks, low crime, great values in homes but they’re not looking inside those homes…to the malaise we’re struggling through:
o chronic anxiety and persistent depression
o relational brokenness
o financial stress
o overwork and over packed schedules
And it’s into these choppy seas we sail all alone.
· Robert Putnam in Bowling Alone: Americans spend far less time together, both formally and informally, than they did in the past. Way more time at work, in the car and on media.
· One in three Americans over 45 identifies as chronically lonely, up from just one in five a decade ago.
· American Sociological Review published a study, "Social Isolation in America: reported a "remarkable drop" in the size of people's core network of confidants—those with whom they could talk about important matters.
o the share of Americans reporting a healthy circle of four or five friends had plunged from 33 percent to just over 15 percent
· Disturbing study University of Virginia: there’s a strong link between suicide and weakened social ties: people become more likely to kill themselves “when they get disconnected from one another.
Into stormy seas we are sailing alone.
You might shrug your shoulders at that…not me…I’ve got lots of people around me. Really?
· how many know your children’s names?
· how many know what you do for a living?
· how many have been to your home?
· how many know when you are sick and what illness you have?
· how many eaten at your table? … and you theirs?
· how many know the least bit about your spiritual journey?
· how many know what hurts your heart?
You might have relationships but they are all secondary relationships. People who know each other in one role and in one narrow way:
· you work with him
· she is a mom of a kid on your child’s soccer team
· next door neighbor…that’s ALL you know
· he serves on a team with you
· she sits beside you in algebra
They are not a harbor in any sense of the world – you are two ships passing in the night.
· who replenishes you?
· who would show up at your bedside in the hospital?
· who would encourage you to find your destiny this world?
You need a harbor.
You need a small community of dear friends who will replenish you, help repair you and re-launch you into the world to find your destiny.
Over the next 3 weeks we want to try to convince you to do what you need to do to find one, join one or start one.
Today I want to show you how small communities can replenish you.
· replenish = to resupply or re-fill … your heart (which leaks), your mind (which is overwhelmed) …and your soul (which is weakening)
Two ways small community can replenishes you....
A small community can replenish your sense of love and significance.
From the moment a human being is born they have two primal needs that they’ll have the rest of their lives: to be loved and to be significant (to have meaning).
This is why there are so many commands in the scriptures that include the words “one another”… they are instructions how to live in small community with one another…to meet those two basic, primal needs…
For instance: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
· most of us know the word love is an intense one that means to act on behalf of another person without regard to yourself. Nearly always involves sacrifice and always involves action.
For instance a little over two months ago my father died. Much to my surprise and delight a number of people from my two primary communities flew to Philadelphia to attend a one hour memorial service. That’s love.
· are you in a community that would love you like that?
Here’s another: Greet one another with a holy kiss. Romans 16:16
Holy kiss was a unique form of greeting still practiced in many places…it said, I acknowledge you, I care for you, you are family with me.
· some in this community still practice it and many have replaced it with handshake or a hug or hand on the shoulder…some kind of touch.
· we need to be touched…I don’t care how old you are
Who touches you? Who greets you? Who sees you as family?
You need a harbor that when you enter you are greeted warmly
Here’s another: Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7
How did Christ accept you? Sins and all! Paul is commanding small communities to look beyond the warts, the sins, the mess and “receive” one another.
· If I can mix metaphors the word paints a picture of a harbor with open arms
· It also implies that we know each other well enough to know the down-side of our souls…and are still accepted.
Here are some things I can count on in my community group…I walk in and as soon John sees me he says “you look fabulous”. Shannon will give me a kiss on the cheek. Pat will ask me about my mom. David will tell me something he prayed for me.
And in just 10 minutes my two primal needs are met…I feel loved and I feel significant.
Do you have some of that? You need a harbor.
Two ways small community can replenishes you....
A small community can replenish your character and spiritual life
In other words , help you grow stronger in your faith…your discipleship with Jesus.
Ephesians 5:15 page ___________
15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
· the days are evil – we sail on stormy seas.
o so…be careful how you live – how you carry yourself in this world
o and …don’t be unwise (a fool)
o and…make the most of every opportunity (redeem the time)
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
In addition:
· understand the will of the Lord
· don’t lose control of yourselves
· be under the influence of the Holy Spirit
Now look how we are supposed to do all that:
19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,
· Talk to one another ... Very few people could read...They didn't read they listened and they didn't have the Bible.
· Share psalms , hymns and spiritual songs with one another – not just music but timeless truths – reiterate to one another God’s will
· Make music in your heart – in the depth of who you are, worship God…help one another see the Magnus Deus
20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
· help one another give thanks – encourage gratitude together
“As long as thanks is possible, then joy is possible.”
Thanksgiving is the only way from empty to full.”
“Thanksgiving always precedes the miracle”
Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts”
We all need small communities that will draw us out of our navel gazing and woe is “me-ing” to thanksgiving –
Finally…
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
· submit from the roots to arrange yourself under … be subject to
o to learn from one another
I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another. Romans 15:14
When we gather together in small community authority is given that group by Christ himself…where two are three are gathered…I am in the midst.
God has willed that we should seek and find his living Word in the mouth of a human being. The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
You need people close enough to you to speak the Word of God to you. People you can submit to…people who will push you to thanksgiving…who will speak the timeless truths of God….
…you need a harbor.
You need a small community of dear friends who will replenish you, help repair you and re-launch you into the world to find your destiny.
You need it as much as this young couple did…