Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
In 1947, a woman by the name of Ann Omley published a song in a small booklet entitled “Salvation songs for children, Number 3”.
The booklet was a collection of hymns written just for children, and it contained such popular children’s songs as “TO THE WHOLE WORLD GO!” and “I RECOMMEND JESUS TO THEE.”
Personally, I can’t say I’m familiar with either of those songs. But Ann Omley’s song, which was at the very end of the book, hymn #100 out of 100, her song became a children's favorite world wide! You might have heard it before - it goes like this: “The wise man built his house upon a rock. The wise man built his house upon a rock. The wise man built his house upon a rock and the rain came tumbling down…”
How many of you are at least in some way familiar with that song?
From what I could tell, Ann Omley’s song “The Wise Man and the Foolish Man” has been translated into 43 languages! For 77 years and counting her song has been enjoyed by generation after generation of hand-jiving toddlers, parents, and teachers alike!
And yet, I can’t find any information about the song’s composer, about Ann, herself! She’s a total mystery. From what I can tell, it seems as though she only ever published one song in her lifetime. The classic children’s banger - “The Wise Man and the Foolish Man.”
So was she a Sunday school teacher? Was she a song-writing Mom? Did she even have any kids - she might’ve been a teenager - we just don’t know.
In any event, I’m glad that even though we don’t know a thing about her beyond her name - we still have her lyrics, and her one song. Since 1947, Ann Omley has made an indelible mark on young hearts and minds and her legacy endures, as her song - A Bible story, a parable, and an important life lesson, continues to be handed down the family line from generation to generation.
This is the 2nd week of our ‘All in the Family’ series.
In this series we are, together, seeking God by the help of His Holy Spirit for wisdom on how we should live as a spiritual family in this time and in this cultural moment.
Because let’s be honest - some things have changed since Ann Omley first published her little children’s song in 1947. But - some things haven’t changed, and throughout this series we’ll be focusing on 6 unique life stages within our church body, and what God’s invitation may be to each of them.
Last week, Barry began this family series with a challenging word for the husbands among us. And let me just say this - although he was primarily speaking to husbands, I know that there was something in that message for my young daughter to hear! As Barry spoke about God’s invitation to husbands, I prayed that my daughter would hear how the Bible describes love, how the Bible says a man is supposed to treat her. And I pray that as she grows into adulthood, she accepts nothing less than the kind of love Barry described in his message last week. If you missed that message, go and check it out.
What I’m saying is, in this series, no matter which life-stage, or specific group we’re focusing on - there’s something in it for everyone! Barry was speaking to husbands, but he also spoke to me - and to my 19 year old daughter, and my 20 year old son. So ask the Holy Spirit to speak to YOU throughout this entire series.
This week I’m largely focusing on parents - what is God’s invitation to the parents in our midst. And right out the gate, I have to acknowledge how broad that word ‘PARENT’ is! I look around this room and I see so many different stages of parenting represented here today.
• Some of you are parenting babies,
• Some (like my husband and I) are parenting teens and adult kids.
• Still others are parenting - their parents - their aging parents who need their constant assistance and support.
• We’ve got single parent homes, and co-parenting arrangements, foster parents, adoptive parents - and on and on.
‘Parent’ is a big big word!! And it means lots of different things to different people, depending on where you may find yourself in life.
Not to mention, I know that not everyone in this room is a parent - so before you’re tempted to tune me out - if you yourself are not a parent - please stay with me because I know God has a word for you, too! Ok? So - before we go any further, let’s pray and invite the Holy Spirit to speak to us:
Open your Bibles with me to Psalm 127, that’s page 515 in the house Bibles.
And as you’re turning there, let me throw some statistics at you. In a survey conducted just a few months ago - in December of 2023 - by the Lurie Children’s Hospital - a study that included 1,000 Millennial parents from across the US:
• 88% of them say that their parenting style is different from how they were raised.
And we would expect that, right? Because some things have changed in our world! This cultural moment that we’re currently in is vastly different from even a decade ago. Times do change - but - as the old adage goes:
“the more things change, the more they stay the same.”
Take this, for example:
According to that same study, here are the 5 BIGGEST CHALLENGES Millennial parents say they face,
5. Balancing work and family life - According to this study, 82% - the vast majority of millennial parents work, and 4 out of 5 say that they attempt to prioritize their children over their careers.
But balancing the often opposing demands of work and home is a major challenge for today’s parents. And not being able to strike that balance often results in the number 4 ‘biggest challenge’ that Millennial parents say they face which is crippling:
4. Parental guilt - We feel as though we are busier than ever, and we feel guilty about being so busy! Parents feel torn between their responsibilities as a parent and all the other things that compete for their time and attention. I read a quote somewhere from a mom who summed it up pretty well when she said,
“I realized how crazy this all was when in the same day that I felt guilty for not cleaning the house while I spent time with my baby, I then felt guilty because I cleaned the house and did not spend time with my baby. I couldn’t win – the guilt was there either way.”
I read another quote, this one from a Father who said:
“Dad guilt kills me every day slowly. Every minute I’m on my phone I can’t help but think that’s a minute I let TikTok steal from my baby girl.”
And I’m glad he brought up Tik Tok! Because Tik Tok and other social media outlets just add to the mounting guilt and pressure that we feel as parents, as we make comparisons between ourselves and others. We see ‘parenting influencers’ online, or even our own family and friends - posting carefully filtered pictures of only the best moments in life - their vacation photos - their kids' sports and academic achievements - all the proudest moments. To us, these are parents who seem to ‘have it all together.’ And we make comparisons that fill us with guilt. Navigating the social media landscape as a parent can be overwhelming enough, which only worsens our anxiety over the 3rd ‘Biggest Challenge’ Millennial parents say they face, which is:
3. Raising children in a digital age - say amen somebody! This is where I live!! This has been without question one of the biggest if not the biggest challenges of my own life as a parent. So help me God - it became clear very early on that my kids’ knowledge and understanding of technology was rapidly outpacing mine! And that’s putting it mildly.
I remember a time not long ago, when one of my kids saw me pick up our TV remote, and hit the ‘Home’ button, and then the ‘arrow’ button (over, over, down down) , about 15 times, until I had reached the ‘Netflix’ icon on the screen, and hit ‘Enter.’ Just then, my child spoke the words that will echo in my mind as the moment I realized that time had marched on and left me in its wake. ‘Mom. You know there’s a Netflix button right there - on the remote - its the bright red one - right there. You could just push one button.”
The Netflix button that I didn’t see - even though it was right in front of my face, in the palm of my hand - that is a symptom of a much bigger problem!
My kids see things that I don’t see! They see things differently than I do - they understand the world in a totally different way - they have different methods of learning, and communicating. They have all kinds of media outlets in the palm of their hand, vying for their attention - algorithms that are targeting them in ways that they are not targeting me.
And I worry. I worry about the kinds of influence - powerful influence - that the things they encounter in the digital world will have on their lives.
• Will my children be able to discern what is true and what is false?
• Will they be led astray by false teaching?
• Have I raised my kids with enough sensibility, have I instilled enough caution in them, that they would be wise in the way they present themselves online?
• Are they wise thinkers, able to withstand the manipulation of these powerful algorithms, or at least wise enough to know when they’re being targeted?
I do not want my children to be manipulated by the powers of this world. The battle for my children’s minds has been the greatest challenge of my own parenthood.
The number 2 biggest challenge Millennial parents say they face is:
2. Finances - I don’t need to say too much about this one. But raising a child is expensive! I don’t care if your kid is still in diapers, or if your kid is in college you already know - raising kids comes at a cost!
And we parents make all kinds of sacrifices for our kids in order for them to be able to do the things they enjoy and have nice things, and go places and be successful. We work hard for them! We scrimp and we save. We go without so that they can have the best opportunities in life -
And all of that leads to the number one ‘Biggest Challenge’ Millennial parents say they face:
1. Dealing with Stress
Balancing work and family life, dealing with parental guilt, raising our children in the digital age, mounting financial pressures, all of this adds up to a very heavy burden of stress, heaped upon our shoulders, every single day. As a Millennial parent, it makes my back hurt just thinking about it. But, these problems aren’t just limited to millennials.
Full Screen of all 5 problems
Do I have any parents in the room who are baby boomers or gen X? Will you please raise your hand if any one of these 5 things was one of the biggest challenges of YOUR parenthood?
Did you deal with stress? Did you struggle with guilt?
For that matter, where are my Gen Z-ers? Most of y’all aren’t parents yet, but some of you, I know, are struggling with the whole ‘work/life’ balance thing - having enough time for family and friends, while balancing the demands of school and work - not to mention the financial pressures you all face and the anxiety!
Here’s what I’m trying to say - while 88% of Millennial parents say that their parenting style is ‘different’ than that of their own parents - the struggles they face are not so different. Because:
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
While our world outwardly may look different - the heart of the challenges we face today are very much the same as they were for the generations that came before: Stress. Worry. Guilt. Fear. Anxiety. What was true for our parents before us is true for us now, today. And it will still be true when our kids grow up, and have kids of their own. The struggle is real.
That’s why Ann Omleys little song about ‘the Parable of the Wise man and the Foolish man’ has been sung for generations.
It’s because every generation understands that rains do come, and floods rise. Bad things happen, unexpectedly. Storms will come our way - and therefore, wisdom warns
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ!
Like Ann Omley’s song, Psalm 127 is a wisdom song. It’s written in 2 parts, which address 3 of our most universal concerns:
• the house,
• safety and security,
• and the family.
Part 1 addresses the first 2 things - the house and safety.
So let’s read the first part of this wisdom song together. We’ll read verses 1 and 2 - and I’m going to read from the English Standard Version or the ESV, because I want you to hear this refrain that gets repeated 3 times in the first 2 verses, ok so here it goes:
Psalm 127
Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
2
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
In light of a message focused on parenting, I know some of you parents of young children need to hear that last line again - ‘He gives to his beloved sleep.’
Just hold on, my friends! You, too, will sleep again someday! Someday is coming!
Unless the Lord builds the house…
The Hebrew word for house that gets used in this passage is ‘Bah - yith’ And that’s an important clue from the text - because that word has a double meaning. It can mean house, as in the shelter where your family dwells. OR - it can mean family - as in the House of Gaffron. In Joshua 24 verse 15, Joshua commands a crowd of people to ‘choose for themselves, today, who they would serve.’ Then Joshua declares “but as for me and my HOUSE, we will serve the Lord!” There’s that word again - bah-yith - but this time it means ‘FAMILY.’ Joshua is saying, ‘as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.’
In that light this passage depicts God as the master architect of our families. He builds the house. And if He’s not the one building the house - if He is not the master architect - the work of the laborers is done in “vain”. That word ‘vain’ means emptiness. Uselessness. Worthless! If the Lord is not the architect of your house, your family - then all your work, all that toil is just wasted time.
In the same way, unless the Lord protects a city, even the work of the night watchman will be in vain - wasted time.
Now it’s important for us to remember - that this is poetry. These words were written with the intent that they would be sung by generation after generation of Israelites. This song could very well have been their version of ‘the wise man built his house upon a rock’ - because it’s a song that teaches a lesson. And that is: ANYTHING done apart from the Lord is done in vain. It’s wasted time, wasted effort. A life lived apart from the Lord is empty.
But, a life lived with the Lord is rewarding and full - because He is the giver of life.
The Psalmist goes on to say that:
Children are a gift from the LORD;
they are a reward from him.
4
Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
5
How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!
He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.
Now again, it’s important to read this Psalm with its original audience in mind. This is ancient poetry. We’ve got to keep it in context. The house Bibles we use, the NLT, says ‘children’ are a gift from the Lord. But the original Hebrew text very clearly uses the Hebrew word for ‘sons.’ Sons are a gift from the Lord.
Now this is absolutely not meant to be in any way derogatory towards us daughters. We know we’re fabulous. Even in Ancient Israel, daughters were prized and valued. But this Psalm is talking about sons being able to defend their father at the city gates!
For those of you who were here last October, remember back to that series we did on the book of Ruth. In that series, we learned a lot about how ancient Israelite society was structured, and the vital role that a man’s sons would play in things like land-ownership laws and inheritance laws. There was a lot at stake in ancient Israelite society, and sons were an integral piece of what made the whole justice system work.
In ancient Israelite culture sons were the “arrows” - the effective, strategic tools that gave a man security in his old age. Like we saw in the book of Ruth, sons were automatic heirs, and as such they had a responsibility to defend the interests of the family at the city gate - the center of all legal and economic activity.
The Psalmist is painting a picture here. He’s saying those sons of yours - those heirs you value so much - you didn’t create them on your own. They're a gift from God. Those sons who will provide for you in your old age - God has provided them to you.
That’s what this whole Psalm is saying: God provides, God guards, God defends, God builds. God gives rest.
And if God does all that: why would we even attempt to do anything apart from Him?
Unless the Lord builds the house…
Unless the Lord builds the family - all of our effort is wasted.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the time, the years, the money spent on expensive building materials - without the Lord, all of it is wasted.
Unless the Lord builds the family - the time, the years, the money spent on expensive diapers, and education, and activities - without the Lord, all of it is wasted.
This is ancient wisdom, from an ancient little song, that is just as true for us today in our modern world as it was for ancient Israel! Because:
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
The Psalmist in the Old Testament cautions us to beware that we aren’t trying to build our homes on the strength of our own efforts. The timeless wisdom of Psalm 127 is this:
As you are building your house and establishing your family - make sure that you are doing so with God at the very center of it all.
He is the builder - and the bedrock. He’s both the Chief Architect, and the firm foundation.
In the New Testament, Jesus says:
Matthew 7:24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
What’s God’s invitation to parents of Grace Church?
Well, I think it’s the same as it’s always been:
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ!
The more things change, the more they stay the same!
Parents, if we want our families to be built up strong - we’ve got to rely on God's building plans - and not our own plans! He’s the master architect! And that means we’ve got to study His building plans! And it’s best not to do that in a vacuum!
Buildingplans.jpg
If I were to break ground on a piece of property, and set out to start building a home - what good would it do for me to be the only person trying to understand these building plans? Even if I could understand the plans on paper - I can’t dig and pour the foundation on my own? I can't hoist walls and secure them into place by myself?
That’s why I like this image so much.
As I have built my house, as I have raised my children, I’ve relied on others in my community who themselves are doing what they can to understand God’s building plans and join me in constructing my house on Christ the firm foundation!
Those construction workers - they represent all of you. Some of you are teaching my kids. Some of you are mentoring my kids. Some of you are praying for my kids. Some of you are praying for me, when I reach out to you, and tell you how tired I am, or how overwhelmed I feel.
And I am doing the same for you. You are partnering with me, to help me build my home. And I am partnering with you to help you build yours! We’re seeking wisdom from the Lord, together, as we build.
Ephesians 2:20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 … where God lives by his Spirit.
Together, we are His house. His family. He is the master builder, He is the foundation, He is the Chief Cornerstone AND He lives among us - God is with us.
I want to close with a story. I called my younger sister earlier this week, because as I was preparing to put this message together - I had a dream. It was one of those dreams that sort of carried over seamlessly from my sleep state to being fully awake! Like when you fall asleep watching a movie and wake up with that movie still playing - it was sort of like that. I woke up from a dream in which my 3-year-old nephew was singing - and his little song kept echoing in my mind, even after I was fully awake!
I realized that I had been dreaming about a video my sister posted a few months ago. In it, she takes turns singing with her little boy, teaching him to build his house on Jesus.
I remember when she first posted it, I watched it over and over again - partly because of how stinking cute my nephew is, mostly because I can’t help but sit in awe of my sister as I watch her build her house.
When my sister sings “the rain came, wind blew, my house was built on you” this is what she means:
My sister lost her first baby. When she was 8 months along in her first pregnancy, she suffered a devastating stillbirth. The rains came. Wind blew.
We had already thrown her a baby shower. The nursery was all set up. Someone had purchased her a brand-new glider rocking chair. And my sister, instead of rocking her newborn baby boy in her arms, would cradle her baby’s tiny little urn in her hands, and wail as she rocked herself back and forth, back and forth, in an empty nursery.
My sister and her husband know what it means for the rain to come in torrents, and flood waters ravage, and winds to batter their house.
And yet - when I asked my sister - how were you able to hold on to your faith when your whole world was shaken.
Her answer was simply this: She had built her life on a firm foundation.
My sister quoted from the book of Job, because she knows her Bible.
She told me,
“In his grief, Job tore his robe and said:
The LORD gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!”
My little sister isn’t superhuman or anything like that. She just has a firm foundation.
She said that in the darkness of her grief, in the midst of the chaos, God was gently whispering to her words of hope - that she could ‘find joy on the journey.’ She said God was telling her, “You don’t have to look back, and THEN see the places where you once had joy - I’ve got joy for you right here. Joy in the sorrow, strength in the pain, you don’t have to wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Because that’s where she had been! She said she kept waiting for some light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. But she felt God speak to her soul during that time. She says He told her to stop waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
That there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Because the light was already in the tunnel with her!
He told her - you don’t have to wait until the end. I am the Light of the World and I am with you, right now! I am in the tunnel with you.
Blessed be the name of the Lord!
This is God’s invitation to the Parents of Grace church today - it’s the same as it ever was:
Build your life - Parents: build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ, the firm foundation - so that you will be able to stand firm when storms come your way.
And teach your children to build their lives on the Lord, Jesus Christ, the firm foundation.
Model it for them! Let them learn from watching you, what it means to trust in the Lord. Show them! Live your faith out-loud in front of them. You’ve got to know His building plans - study His principles - grow in knowledge and in wisdom, so that you can stand firm, be steadfast, immovable, built upon the firm foundation - ready to withstand the storms of life.
And know this: that no matter how dark things may seem - know that you don’t have to wait for the light at the end of the tunnel. Know that the light is already with you - even and especially when things are dark. God is with you.
And for all of us, whether we ourselves are parents or not - we all have a role to play in the lives of the children and families around us! Together, we are HIS house, built on the firm foundation with Christ Jesus himself as the Chief Cornerstone, holding us together! We are an important part of one another, each of us, building each other up, as we are carefully being joined and fitted together in HIM.
Christ is our firm foundation.
God’s invitation to each of us, every one of us, is the same as it ever was:
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ!
Amen.